I’ve thought a lot about forgiveness since my husband left me last year. It wasn’t the fact that he went. It was the manner in which it was done. I felt as if my soul was being stamped on with concrete boots.
To begin with I was in such a state of shock that it was all I could do to survive. It’s only recently, as the first anniversary of him leaving passes by, that I have begun to feel normal again (whatever normal is, by the way). But after any profound grief and loss, life cannot be and will never be the same again.
My attitude to life has certainly changed, and continues to do so, as I face up to what the experience has taught me.
The first lesson I learnt was that, even though I was in bits, this crisis was not going to kill me. Life continued regardless. The second was how amazingly supportive my friends were, and still are. It was as if I needed this experience to deepen my relationships and to find out what friendship really means. If that was the only gift I gained, I would have been very happy.
But, it wasn’t.