How do you know when someone is beginning their dying process?

There are certain signs when illness or old age has tipped into a preparation for death.

The dying may feel compelled to resolve unfinished businessEnd-of-life research studies show that the dying are often called by an almost organic process to confront and resolve unfinished issues from their past, particularly with estranged family members.

Special requests – Sometimes people may want to do something special such as visit a particular site, or be surrounded by their favourite flowers, or to hear certain music, or to have family photographs near, or to make contact again with someone who has been important in their lives.

 Their external world begins to diminish – The draw of the world at large no longer appeals and even engaging with family matters no longer seems important. Rather the dying person prefers to remain in a safe, quiet place, often in bed.

Physical changes – These changes are part of the dying process. The skin can become paper-thin and pale, with dark liver spots appearing on hands, feet and face. Hair can also thin and the person may shrink in stature. Teeth can discolour or develop dark stains.

 Increased sleep – The person begins to sleep for long periods. This can be distressing for relatives to witness, but it’s important to understand that physical exertion for someone approaching death is exhausting, and, for the moment, all their effort is being put into staying alive. Nearer the end, they may be incapable of remaining alert and increasingly drift in and out of consciousness.

Appetite reduces – the body knows it no longer needs fuel to keep it going, and those who are dying often lose their desire to eat or drink. They can begin to lose weight, sometimes quite rapidly. It’s important not to force food or drink onto someone who no longer wants it. But do take guidance from medical staff and end of life carers.

Change of language – The person may start to talk about ‘leaving’, ‘flying’, ‘going home’, ‘being taken home’, ‘being collected’, ‘going on holiday’ or using other journeying language. They may also begin to express heart-felt gratitude to their carers and to their family as a preparation of farewell.

Deathbed visions – it is not uncommon in the weeks, days or even hours and moments before death for a dying person to speak of being ‘visited’ by dead relatives, friends, groups of children, religious figures or even favourite pets.

A little more about deathbed visions

The dying will say these ‘apparitions’ have come to ‘collect’ them or help them let go. Even when semi-conscious, it may appear that they are reaching out to take hold of something, and then feeling it between their fingers as if puzzled. They may also appear to be thinking deeply, as if they are being ‘shown’ information that they may not have considered before.

The dying, and those who witness these end-of-life experiences, usually describe them with loving reassuring words such as ‘calming,’ ‘soothing,’  ‘greeting,’  ‘comforting,’ ‘beautiful,’ ‘readying.’ It is not known how many dying people have such visions and experiences. But end-of-life experience research does suggest that they happen in all cultures and religions, occurring generally within the final weeks, days or hours of death. However, it is probable that many end-of-life experiences are not reported, because the dying person is afraid of appearing confused or distressed and believes they will be given medication to stop them happening.

Carers may keep quiet about these end-of-life experiences because they believe it is not professional to talk about such things. Or they simply do not have the time to sit with the dying and therefore miss them. Relatives may not speak about such experiences to staff or to other family members and friends for fear of ridicule or disbelief. Nevertheless, research suggests that end-of-life visions and dreams hold profound meaning for the dying and help them to accept their dying process.

A note from Sue: Thank you for visiting this page. You may be interested in my Granny Mo children’s books, which help adults to talk with children about death and dying, and my books for adults on death and dying may help as well. You can also listen to a host of fascinating guests on my Embracing Your Mortality podcast and enjoy reading their interviews on my blog.

56 thoughts on “How do you know when someone is beginning their dying process?

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  1. My mom got diagnosed with dermatomyositis and interstitial lung disease. she has started hillucinating and telling me stories about a scare crow nest and a witches broom. she hardly eats or drinks anymore. could this be a sign of dying process?

    1. Hi Zooly

      I don’t know if you mum is on medication, but these hallucinations might be caused by this. Hallucinations can be controlled by changing medication, so encourage her to talk to her doctor.

    2. My husband began to hallucinate when he was taking too much medicine for water retention. He was dying, but when we stopped the water pills, he stopped hallucinating. The day before he died he was hallucinating again but he was aware that he was seeing flies around my shoulder and asked if he was hallucinating.

  2. I sat with my grandmother for a week before she died and she appeared to be holding court as a procession of friends and relatives appeared to her. It seemed to give her great pleasure and she spoke her welcome out loud. It made me feel much happier as well. since she did not appear to be upset at all. If this process is just down to drugs rhen it must be well documented.

  3. I too have witnessed the snatching out effect. When my sister was dying, she said she was getting fed up with the man in the ward leaning on the wall looking at her. Looking around, I couldn’t see him and asked what he looked like. Jesus, was her reply, followed by her annoyance at him standing around watching her.

    Since then, I have again witnessed the reaching out, snatching effect when my father-in-law was dying. We thought it might be something to do with the drugs, but it is curious that so many dying people do this.

    I believe there may also be a chemical change in the brain, as I have also found people go from the concern of dying to a state of not being frightened. Almost a kind of tranquil acceptance.

    Unfortunately, I now have 2 brother-in-laws, both at stage 4 and withering away at an alarming rate. It brings on a very humble feeling, suddenly materials and money have very little meaning and you look at life and people in a very different light.

    I’m not hugely religious, but perhaps this is when one should realise how important the life you share with others should always be cherished – sometimes not understood until it is too late. ‘Lumen Vidi’

  4. My mother has spent the past couple of weeks talking to every dead person from her past as she prepares to die. My Dad died two years ago and she has had many visits with him in the house. It has been a fascinating process and I hope reassuring for her.

  5. My grandfather is nearing death, in all honesty probably any minute now I will be receiving a call. He has been experiencing deathbed visions for about a week now. He never mentions it but my mom and grandmother both saw him reaching out and talking to all of his relatives. Sunday his dog who passed a few months ago came to visit him. I too thought my mom was making things up but after she has seen it many times I believe it has happened.

  6. I wish Hospice would stress that one should sit and talk with their dying relatives.. I took care of my husband day and night for weeks before he died. During his final days he was heavily medicated and slept all the time. I took care of him, but did not talk to him and sit and hold his hand. I don’t know if I was just so tired, scared or what, but I feel like I let him down when he needed me most. I feel so guilty because I loved him with all my heart for 56 years.

    1. It’s my understanding that the dying often wait until alone to pass, because the pull of their loved ones here makes it too difficult to leave.

      1. My Dad definitly waited until family members had left for the night and then he let go…..while he was alone.

      2. When my mom was at the old folks home she kept saying children was sitting on her feet on her wheelchair. She also spoke of other people in her room. I believed her. She did not seem to be huellicinatng. She did die eventually.

  7. I appreciate having this available to read. It’s very helpful. My parents seem to be going at the same time which is comforting after 68 years together. I feel at peace.

  8. about a week before my mother died she told me 2 very nice young people came to see her they told her they would come back soon to get her dressed and take her home. She was blind but yet saw them clearly.

  9. The dying often see children in their room. This has been well documented by end of life research. It appears that these spirit children help the person let go, and to die in peace.
    I hope this helps.

    1. My cousin is a former nurse and took care of her almost 100 year old dying grandmother. The elder lady was very sweet and I remember she was talking about children around her bed and also seeing her already deceased husband wearing white clothes and smiling at her. She said with a big smile that he came to take her with him.

  10. About 6 months ago, my 94 yr. old aunt told me she saw a black dog on her 4th floor balcony. She opened the door to let it in and it was gone. She then said she saw a blond haired child on her sofa…no facial features…just laying there. For the last three weeks she said she has been seeing my uncle who passed almost 20 yrs. ago. She sees his outline of his body, he is waving at her with one hand and has a bunch of flowers in the other. He never bought her fresh flowers because he said it was a waste of money because they just die.

    I feel sure she is seeing these things and we have talked many times about my uncle coming to visit her. I told her I felt he wanted her to know she won’t be alone when she leaves this world that he will be there for her. The child may have been her infant son who passed in 1957…he was blonde hair and an infant. The black dog she had passed many years ago.

    I feel sure she is trying to prepare herself and possibly me for her passing. I have cleaned out her closets and organized them, cleaned out her canned food, and wiped the top of her appliances as she wanted them all done. Today, she wanted to go for a ride to get fresh air so off we went.

    I am her primary caregiver and I can see she is losing weight, her appetite is gone, she is staying inside her apartment most of the time, and talking to very few people. I just pray that I am keeping her as comfortable as I can and that she finds some comfort in her visits from my uncle.

    1. What a loving thing to do for her! I, too, sat with a dear friend for her last week. Her beloved late grandfather came for her. She went from being fearful to a lovely peaceful and relaxed end.

  11. My 90 year old father who is in a care home and very frail, said he was confused last week as he was going on a trip the following day. When I asked where to, he said “home, this isn’t my home”. It was very strange as he had never said anything like that before. I had heard that the dying often say they are going on a journey.

    1. Often people in skilled nursing facilities want to go home. They don’t like where they are because they know it’s not home.

  12. Just found this site. The night my grandmother died, my mother was with her and she said ‘oh Mabel you look just like my mother’ and peacefully died although suffering from bowel cancer. This was in 1954 and I have never spoken to anyone regarding the final moments of the dying.My grandmother’s mother died when Gran was 14 and there were no photos, so how would Gran know what she looked like.

  13. I find this site so very comforting and enjoyed reading all the comments. My mother is 92 and dying of bowel cancer. We have had a very difficult time over the past couple of years since her diagnosis as our mum has never been a ‘happy’ person and our childhood was very dysfunctional to say the least. I cannot ever recall her laughing or being happy, and physical love and cuddles were almost non existent. Just over a month ago Mum was admitted to hospital as she was hallucinating due to taking codeine for pain relief and considered not safe to be on her own. Mum has given us all such a hard time because she hates being in hospital and she decided three weeks ago that she did not want any of her daughters to visit. We did visit every few days however but sometimes left close to tears as she made it clear she did not want us there. After a particularly unpleasant scene in which she said all she wants is to die in peace and be left alone, we made the difficult decision to honour her wishes and stay away. Then two days ago mum had a fall and hit her head, she was taken to a larger hospital for a CT scan and sent back to our local hospital. We heard that the head injury had caused a small bleed on the front temporal lobe and were asked if we could go and sit with her as she was very frail. My sister and I went last night at around 10pm dreading the reception we may get from mum owing to previous times.

    When we arrived mum was sitting up in bed, very alert and finger playing the air in front of her. As we approached her bed she smiled broadly at us and held out her arms. As we moved close for an embrace she was laughing and happy. Not much she said made sense … she had been somewhere the day before and come home on a bus full of noisy people and some gypsies were trying to sell her flowers but she refused to buy them. She was continually grabbing at the air in front of her with delighted oohs and aaaaahs with childlike joy. She kept reaching out for our hands. Some of the time mum was quite lucid asking after my little dog and mentioning our other sister and brother by name. She remembered some of the grandchildren coming to see her. This was interspersed with talking about people she knew long ago, some had even ‘been to see her’. We had a laugh when she wanted us to close the curtain(s) because mum said they were a pair and she wanted to see them closed together but we tried explaining that it was one big curtain but we went through the motions of pretending to close them. Another time this would have been stressful as we would have felt stupid but we ended up laughing and even mum saw the funny side. She was not on any pain relief other than paracetamol which she takes three times a day.

    It was a magical time and we are so happy to have been with our mum and seen her like this. So totally different to the mother we have known all our lives. I can only think now that mum was experiencing the visions others have talked about. We are not expecting mum to live much longer as she is not eating much at all and is getting very frail but at least she will leave us with this very happy memory.

  14. The night that my Aunt died from stomach cancer she was drifting in and out of consciousness but she suddenly sat bolt upright, held out her arms and she smiled and said just one word ‘Jo.’
    Then she laid back on her pillows and died. Josephine was the name of her daughter who was killed in a car crash and my aunt always called her Jo.

  15. My mother is dying of Alzheimers and has been under Hospice care for about two months now. She is very thin and today, for the first time, almost completely unresponsive. I have read many of these comments and must concer! My mother has seen many groups of children and she said she was feeding them and caring for them. She has mentioned many of our relatives and friends who have passed away and said they’ve come to see her. One of the most profound thoughts… She told me her father, my grandpa Johnny, comes to her every night….he says NOT TONIGHT, DOLLY…. WOW! I do believe they see people and places from their past… She also told me what she saw was BEAUTIFUL. I get the feeling that today was one of our last visits. She was very lithargic and did not respond to my son and I at all. Thank you everyone.

    1. My grandma is 89 years old, and is dying from heart disease. I visited with her yesterday and I asked her how she felt. She replied, “I don’t feel very good. I think I’m going to die soon.” It was sad, but I felt somewhat at ease by the way she communicated this with me. She also reached out quite a bit and kept grabbing whatever she was seeing in front of her. I am slowly beginning to make my peace with this, and feel I am in good company when I read the other posts in this forum.

  16. My Mom did the same, In a coma for the last three days and opened her eyes and said I love you to all of us and died.

  17. My parents both died of cancer within 4 months of each other. Dad went into a semi-coma and was able to nod his head yes and no, but not able to speak.
    The day before he passed my husband was talking to him and had to go back to work
    He said to my dad :see you tomorrow John” a d my dad shook his head back and forth several times and seemed to be quite upset. My husband was quite close to my dad and asked “why not” several times. My dad, who had not uttered a word said only one word…and that word was “dead”. Of course we were all upset. That night my mom kissed my dad on the forehead and said “goodnight sweetheart, I love you”. My dad nodded his head up and down and tears rolled down his cheeks. He passed away the next day
    My mom passed the day after mother’s day. The week before she had a nap on the sofa and when she woke up she said that Jesus had come to see her with a little girl and told her he would be back for her. Mom was so calm and at peace when she told us about it and said that she believed that the little girl was our sister that had passed away when she was a baby. The night before she died my brother and I were sitting with her and she got up, looked out her bedroom window, (it was night) and said she wanted to go outside and play with the children. She passed away the next morning. I now believe that you know when your time has come.

  18. My grandmother is 98 she came out of hospital 2 days ago after a short stay she is very frail and the hospital have arranged aftercare three times a day for her… when the final nurses came in this evening they found her slumped asleep in a chair they couldn’t rouse her so dressed her and put her in her bed… She has been happy, smiling and peaceful and has talked to lots of now dead people from her past in the past few days she is also very confused I found comfort reading these messages thank you and Nana although I wish she would never pass on I’m glad that there seems to be old friends and family waiting to help herin that journey

  19. My father in law has been seeing his mother who has passed and he says she’s been visiting him. Today I went to visit and I brought 2 of my sons into the room with me. He started talking and said there were 2 little girls, sisters with us and he smiled and said he didnt know their names but they were there in between my two boys in the room. I never told him I had miscarried twice and I had believed that they had been girls. They were never named. This to me was confirmation that what he was experiencing is real. I take it as the best gift that he could ever give is the knowing that they are with us and that someday I’ll get to meet them and that there is another side. He has been asking to see me all day.

  20. This is an enlightening & comforting site. I was with both my parents when they breathed their last breaths. Thank you to each of you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. You are appreciated.

  21. I have read all of your stories that have made me cry. I miss my father who passed at 60 , they gave him 6 weeks and he died after 5 . He was very angry to begin but scared at the end . He never believed that there was anything other than the end . I only hope there was someone there to meet him .

  22. My father had been diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer 6 weeks ago and reading this article brought me a lot of comfort. As I type this, he’s talking to his mother and sister,father, his grandfather has been with him most of the day, he had two of his friends come to visit.. all of the passed away long time ago.. it’s been a busy day for him, he refused morphine and food today, he barely had anything to drink.. and keeps whispering one sided conversations.. My dad talks about a journey he will go on, but when I ask him if he wants to go he says ‘no’.I believe they are trying to prepare him to go… it sounds like they explain things to him and he’s quite disappointed it’s happening it’s so quick.. But I know he will be ready when the time comes. We will walk him half way home and they will take over from there.. it’s very reassuring and makes me happy that not only on this side we’re trying to help, but also on the other side..

  23. Sitting now with my almost 93 year old Mum, in 2 months the change in her phenomenal.

    She seems asleep, perhaps she is but responds when spoken with ….

    She talks non stop to imagined babies, children, kisses them, plays with them…… talks to others in family ….. old neighbours …..pets …’s as though she’s running through a film of her life …. reliving memories of things that have happened.

    So sweet, so innocent, so poignant, so heartbreaking!
    Love easily spoken that for some reason she’s not been able to verbalise in life…… it’s all coming out now.

    She is SO happy, so peaceful – we know in our hearts the end can’t be far away, we want death to be this peaceful & love filled for her.

    In fact, we want that for all of us when our time to leave life approaches.

  24. Last night my dad passed away at the age of 60 from stage 4 melinoma cancer. He was in hospice for the last month, he was scared to go which I don’t blame him.
    My mother and his aunt were with him all day yesterday his lungs were filling with fluid he was having a hard time breathing, the nurses gave him meds to help clear his lungs, my mother left him at 5pm to come home and get some cloths to go back and spend the night with him.
    We received a call just as she was leaving the door that he had passed away.
    The nurses said they were all with him for the last hour he was here they said he was calm and in and out of a comma type state.
    He kept waving and giving a thumbs up to somebody in the room and then talking with them as if they were comforting him to come with them.
    Then he spoke to the nurses and said he was ok to go now, he was ready now.
    Moments later he passed away.

  25. My grandmother has had 3 strokes and 4 seizures. She’s been down for over a year now. She just recently had a seizure. So on today, Christmas. My stepdad and mom went over to visit her. She knows my stepdad very well. She knew him before she got sick & during the sickness. Today, she called him by my dad name & seemed very surprised and excited about seeing my dad, whom passed in 2005. I’ve sat here and cried and cried while reading about others passing. I love my grandmother so much, she has always been the GOAT of our family, and a big inspirational help to our small community. This is gonna be so hard for me, when she passes. I never thought she would be seeing my dad, she loved him so much. Whew! Thanks everyone, I’m trying to cope with knowing that death is near.

  26. My father was in hospital after an operation at 89. He was sure It would be the end, and comfortable with it. On the white wall he saw figures, looking like portraits. And he was not in a druggged state. He found the sight quite plesant, and died peacefully a week aften the operation. I guess he saw his ancestors.

  27. My 92 yr old gramma died from Covid on Dec. 16th 2020 Before she caught covid she was in a nursing home. they would not let us in to see her but, I would go talk and see her through a window. the day I found out she was on comfort care I fought to go be with her. when I got there her heart beat was only beating once every 3 to 5 seconds.They said they hadn’t expected her to still be alive through that day. I promised her through the window I would not allow her to die alone. She died 20 minutes after I got there. I truly believe somehow she knew I was fighting to be able to be with her and had waited for me.

  28. I took care of my grandma along side my grandfather before she passed. She had gotten dementia and taken a fall and was unable to walk for months before her passing. I remember a few days before she passed away she was asking “Are the kids still here?” When no kids were at the house, also she was communicating with dead relatives every night all night. She asked us multiple times to take her home or take her to her room and she didn’t want to stay where she was anymore. Although I knew her time was coming I did not know these were signs of passing on and I always thought it was the dementia causing her to think these things. The day she passed away we could tell it wouldn’t be much longer, family surrounded her and she held on up until me and my grandfather had to leave to see a doctor. As we pulled away she passed on and I got the call to come back shortly after pulling out the driveway. Reading these stories really helped me understand what happened much better. Thank you.

  29. After reading these messages I now understand & recognise some, if not all, of signs of someone preparing their ‘pathway’ home. My mum is almost 93 (in April 21) after a fall & 3 weeks in hospital she came home end of September 2020 & now bedridden in my home. She has steadily progressed from a little confusion to seeing & talking to family members who have died. My sister who died 2 1/2 yrs ago is regularly spoken to & most recently my mums sister in-law who died just before Xmas 2020 is now being seen ( my mum was not told she had died as I felt it would be too distressing for her).

  30. My mother passed January 1,2021 and 3 months prior she said her mother and brother were in her dreams that they were all getting ready – and told her that they were going to a big party. Both my uncle and grandmother had already passed and in the days to come she really wanted to go visit her sister who lives out of town.

    As we are heading over she is calling all her relatives to let them know where she was going and that she really wanted to see them all. She was so happy to have family together. Days later she wanted to take a little vacation and went to Arizona. She ALWAYS wanted to visit other states and she had the best time ever.

    She then, in the month of December, said she was hearing owls on her window and crows roaming around. I thought nothing of it .The day she was in the emergency room I was coming home at 4:30am and a beautiful white owl came straight to my car. I didn’t want to hurt it but it was inevitable. It hit my window/ I turn around to see if I could find it, it but it was no where to be seen. 3 days after, at exactly 3:32am, my mom left us. I knew in my heart that all these were signs but I didn’t want to accept it. My heart wasn’t ready to let her go….

  31. As I’m reading your comments, I can’t stop my tears. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 multiple myeloma and as we speak in sitting next to him, listening to him having chats with either his mother or other relatives who passed on long ago. This last two weeks I’ve gotten used to the regular visitors. He reaches out as if taking someone’s hand. He would stare into nowhere for long, very focused on what he sees and hears, then he would (I’f he feels like which is rarely) tell me what they are saying. He throws off his blankets, even at night and says he wants to be free and that he wants to go home. I don’t know how much time my Dad has left, what I do know is that he will be welcomed with so much love when he goes home. In the meantime I welcome his daily guests and sometimes gently ask them to leave him for a while as his body is exhausted. I don’t think they listen to me though, cause Dad keeps talking to them.

    Thabk you all for your beautiful stories. You made this journey a little easy for me. 💛

  32. When my grandma died, I was told she was looking straight ahead towards the ceiling as she lay in her bed when her eyes suddenly opened wide and she wanted to speak but it was like whatever she was looking at had their finger at their mouth saying shhh don’t say anything and then she died with a smile.

  33. My Father had hit his head whilst fainting in his kitchen, he had a bleed on the brain which he wasn’t aware of as he refused to seek medical help, the bleed took to weeks to kill him, in that period my dad didn’t know he was dying, during that two weeks he had a dream, the dream was at his favourite place to fish, both of his dead parents and his beloved dead Dog was present at this location and they said to him it’s time to go now Rob.

  34. My brother passed away January 23rd this year he was 55 my mother was heartbroken. My mum gave up sadly she passed on feb 25th as I sat with her the day before she passed she spoke to someone saying I’ll be there soon . The next day she spoke to my brother saying oh Jamie I didn’t see you there I held my mums hand and told her it’s ok mum go with Jamie I’ll be ok I love you within minutes she took her last breath . I’m not a religious person but I found great comfort in knowing that Jamie came for her I miss them both terribly and life will never be the same r.I.p

  35. My 94 year old mother in law has been talking to an Angel child for awhile. She used to get up in the middle of the night to walk with them. Her daughter would chase her back to bed. She would complain that all the child would do is sit on the dresser watching her and ask for her to follow. That was four months ago.

    She is comatose now and has only limited time. She was given her last rites tonight.

    My husband (who is the youngest of 6 and her favorite child) is leaving in a few hours to be with her. I encouraged him to talk to her tonight just in case he didn’t make it in time. While he was talking to her she was breathing loudly so he at least could hear her. When he apologized for being a horrible child (which he never was) her breathing stopped.
    He began to cry and asked her to hold on
    because he would be there soon. Her breathing resumed. I truly believe she heard him.

    He knows it is a race against time but I really think she will be hanging on. People think that because a person is comatose they can’t hear you. I believe they can.

  36. My mother died 3 years ago, she did not pass calmly or quietly, I made her dinner around 5.30 that afternoon, she sat at the table, pushed the meal away from her and said she didn´t want it, so I said OK don´t worry, I can reheat it in the microwave when you do — she said she felt light headed and went to lie down – she sat on the edge of the bed, I said lay back and I will go and make you a cup of tea, took that into her, all of a sudden she sat up, started shouting, banging her arms and legs around on the bed, she always had been a very strong woman, but she seemed to have he strength of ten more at this point! I shouted to my husband, help me she is going crazy, he came rushing into her room we manage to pacifiy her a little, then she was shouting – let me go, let me go, she had several attempts to hit me and my husband, still shouting to let her go! when she did settle a little my husband rushed to the phone to call the paramedics, whilst he was on the phone she suddenly laid back, stared at me, made a very stranger noise then died, I just called to my hubby, cancel that call darling she has just died.
    All always thought she would go peacefully in her sleep, each morning I would stand at her door, with a mug of tea in my hand, take a deep breathe wondering what I might find.
    At the age of 94 she left this world still fighting an wanting to be the boss!

  37. As I read these comments, I sit beside my mother who is in Hospice. She has had some ministrokes, has aggressive kidney cancer, and just fell the other day and has a broken wrist. It is so sad to see Mom going through all of this, but it is so comforting to read others’ stories about what they see their loved one going through near the end of his/her life. My mom reaches out quite often, out in front of her, leaning forward and gently reaching for something, not quite within her grasp. She always has a look of curiosity on her face, or is one of recognition …so hard to tell even though I know my mother well. She has also told me she sees children at her beside. To read stories that are familiar to mine is so very comforting. As long as my mom is at peace and moves smoothly into her next life, I am happy for her. She also told me she feels a force…that her family is waiting for her. I will miss my mother so much but I also know I will see her again, for what she has seen comforts me in knowing so.

  38. I lost my lovely gramps age 97 a few years ago, and I knew his time was coming,Six months before he passed, he would tell me, that all his deceased family were coming every night to visit him, and told him, that soon, he would be home too
    .My grandma, who died ten years earlier, also used to come all the time, sit on his bed, tell him, that she was waiting for him to join her
    He was on no medications at all, and was very switched on, with no mental health problems.
    The day he passed, I had a call, to tell me, he was not feeling good, so within ten minutes, we rushed over, and he had just passed, sat upright in his chair, with a massive smile on his face.
    My heart broke that day, and is still broken now
    . I stayed with him, for five hours, as I couldn’t leave him. I watched his smile get bigger and bigger on his face, He looked so happy, and I really believe, he was taken by his wife, and the other relatives that were waiting on the other side.

  39. I am 40 years old and have cared for three relatives over the past 3 years who were on palliative care.

    One thing with all of them that I have noticed, is in the three days before death they become obsessed with the time. This week my grandad who is on palliative care at home has done nothing but repeatedly ask me the time. He’s at the stage where he has no interest in conversation or even water. He is not asking for the time because he can’t tell night from day, but as if he has to be somewhere. From past experience, It tells me he is getting ready to leave us.

  40. These comments are so heartwarming and personal, they have made me feel more accepting of passing. nice to know we have family or friends waiting for us on the other side, i truly believe that noone passes alone, theres always someone there to guide you through.

  41. Some years ago, I was close to having organ failure. That is when the visitations began with my grandmother being the first to visit.

    Over the course of about a month, I was visited by many relatives who had passed on. My grandma was a constant fixture during this time. It was very reassuring and brought me great joy being able to spend time with my family who I hadn’t seen in years.

    I didn’t originally think of them as visitations, but just beautiful dreams that I was having.
    My illness peaked about a month after the first visitations/dreams had begun. All of my affairs were in order because it wasn’t a question of “if”, but “when” my time would come.

    Near of what was supposed to be my end is when the final visit of that time period occurred.
    I crossed paths with a young gentleman who was much younger than I yet seemed so familiar to me. I just couldn’t place where I had met him before.
    We got to chatting and I inquired about his family to see if maybe that’s where I knew him from. He began by telling me about his parents and little sister.

    Unfortunately, our chat abruptly came to an end when my alarm clock went off. I woke up and started my usual morning routine.
    It wasn’t until about 10 minutes or so later that I started thinking about the dream.
    The revelation that followed hit me like a ton of bricks and I broke down crying.

    That young man’s parents and little sister he told me about were my grandparents and aunt.
    The gentleman I had met and who seemed very familiar to me was my dad who passed when I was barely 3 years old!
    Only in his mid twenties at the time of his passing, I’m an old man compared to how old he was then.

    My health is somewhat better now and the frequent visitations from everyone have ceased. I’m very grateful though that grandma still visits occasionally to spend time with me.
    The last two visits she even brought along my precious German Shepherd who passed over a year ago. That was such a wonderful time to be able to pet my pup again and even brush her coat.

    There’s great comfort in knowing that family who have passed are in a better place. They no longer have to endure the sufferings of our earthen vessels.

    I do not fear death for I know this isn’t the end of my journey. We are energy and energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred.

    When the time comes for either a loved one or yourself, know that on the other side awaits loving family with open arms and furry paws.

  42. My second son was 6 mos old when my first son came in my bedroom saying, Mommy something is wrong with Davy! My husband and I rushed into his room and noticed he was having a seizure. We rushed him to the hospital, they said “Don’t worry you will take him home tonight”. Five days later, I was by his side with my girlfriend, just talking to him telling him I loved him- he squeezed my pinkie finger with his handlike everything will be okay. He passed away the next day. His gesture made me realize he knew he was not going to grow up and I to this day cry for my Davy Doll. He was telling me in his own way that he was going to be alright. I have comfort knowing that my Dad, my Mom, and Davy’s Dad are with him now and he is not alone. He has been gone 48 years now and I still love and miss him everyday!!!!

  43. I just came from a client who was quite distressed after she was talking to her brother and sister (both dead) last night this woman has no dementia. Her sister told her she was going to visit the rest of the family. She told them not to be late as she goes bed early…by ten she called her son to tell Margaret to come back as she was off to bed…her son said “Margaret is dead mom..’ I told her is they come back to tell them to leave! She was quite disturbed by this as she was talking to them as she would be to me…obviously I reported this to management ..

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